Saturday, 26 March 2011

Male Waxing business gets targeted spam

Just like you I get unwanted email in my inbox. But this one got through the spam filters and I actually read it. It's clever. It's targeted. But it's absolute crap.

You can read the email in full (below) but here are the relevant lines:

Your website has 0 back-links. Absolute nonsense. A quick check shows there are 40. I didn't get to the top of page two for "male waxing" and "waxing Surrey" with no links to my website.

Right now your website has a Google Pagerank score of 1/10 Google says many site owners seem to think it's the most important metric for them to track, which is simply not true. They have even removed it from Webmaster Tools.

We can produce a report....together with a personal telephone consultation for £499.00. If you are prepared to act this week we are prepared to offer this at a reduced one-off fee of £299.00. £500 for a phone call?! Oh sorry just £300 if we talk now. That old marketing trick of time pressure.

Right now, your site has 8 pages indexed with Google, and Google is regarding some of that content as poor. There could be a number of structural and content issues with your website which may be having a negative impact on your search rankings. My waxing website was built by experts and if you look at the site you will clearly see this is again rubbish

And finaly you do have to ask how good a so-called Search Engine Optimisation company is if they can't get their own website onto page one of Google for "Search Engine Optimisation"!

And here is their not-so-clever email:

My name is Abigail Walker. I’m a senior search consultant at Top 10 Guaranteed. We are part of an IT Group that has been established for over 10 years as a leading specialist in all aspects of online sales and marketing.

Excuse the unusual approach, however I am writing to inform you that I recently visited your website,, during a routine survey of web sites which would be capable of achieving higher search engine performance. Obviously resulting in an increase in online sales or the generation of high volumes of additional sales leads.

I am confident that this information will be of use to you, but if I have caused offence in any way through my approach I sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused. I’m hoping this will arouse your curiosity, since you are obviously attempting to gain new business through your website.

From my initial observations, your website is underperforming in at least one of the major search engines such as - Google, Yahoo, and Bing. You probably are aware that most people don't look past the first page of search results. I struggled to find you in the first couple of pages for highly relevant keyphrases, which means that you could be losing out on a significant amount of business. As such I did a bit more digging...

I ran a back-link check on first. Back-links are the number of times your site is linked to via another website. Your website has 0 back-links. Back-links also contribute towards your Google Pagerank score. Pagerank is Google telling us how authoritative and trustworthy your site is. A higher score = higher search rankings. Right now your website has a Google Pagerank score of 1/10, which, when compared to other high ranking competitor websites, may be restricting your rankings. This can be down to many reasons which we can help resolve.

The next check I applied on your website was page indexing. Search engines like Google scan the information on your website and feed it back to their database. The Google formula is then applied to the data to determine where your website should rank. As such the more pages your website has indexed with quality unique content, the higher you can rank with Google. Right now, your site has 8 pages indexed with Google, and Google is regarding some of that content as poor. This can be down to many reasons which we can help resolve. Finally I also identified that there could be a number of structural and content issues with your website which may be having a negative impact on your search rankings.

So, here's a recap of my findings of

- Your Google Pagerank is 1/10

- You have 0 back-links

- Your website has 8 pages indexed

- There are issues with content and site structure and content

I have only scratched the surface of the factors impacting on your rankings. Unlike some of our competitors, I wanted to do some initial work to identify that it would be worthwhile for you to talk to us before contacting you with my proposal. The best way to deal with any problem is to first apply a thorough diagnosis. It would, therefore, be a sensible next step for us to apply a more thorough diagnosis of why your website may not be ranking well before discussing with you what could be done about it.

What we have to offer could prove to be the most value for money investment you could make for your business this year. In an economic climate that is difficult, to say the least, all businesses must invest in areas that will deliver maximum returns with minimal investment. Only strong search engine listings offer real growth opportunities as consumer trends change.

So what do we have to offer? Many factors now impact on how and where you will appear on the search engines. Unfortunately, most business people overlook the things that prevent them from performing well in the search engines and throw good money behind advertising without understanding what their web site really needs. Good SEO firms assess the needs of sites individually and address these by working on sites month on month. A one off fix just doesn't work. As such we offer two approaches for you to consider.

We can produce a detailed 30-40 page Diagnostic Report for your site together with a personal telephone consultation with one of our SEO experts. Consultations explain the technicalities in our report in an easy to understand manner. Our normal price for this service is £499.00. If you are prepared to act this week we are prepared to offer this at a reduced one-off fee of £299.00. Following this consultation we can discuss how best to rectify the situation.

Alternatively we could provide this detailed Diagnostic Report for your site completely free. For this you would need to commit to take up our 12 month optimisation and consultancy service prior to our work commencing. The service is based around promotion of specific agreed keyphrases after discussing how to put right all issues highlighted in our report. We can deliver first page search results in the major search engines. For this we charge as little as £35 per keyphrase, per month, dependent upon the competitiveness of that keyphrase. Furthermore, we guarantee to refund your money should we fail to put you in the first page for the keyphrases once all changes have been implemented.

The reason why I'm so confident about our capabilities is because we have done it so many times before. To name a few examples: Maternity Clothes, Dubai Properties, Gravel, Health Store, Van Hire, Fire Extinguishers, Financial Advisers UK, Coffee Machines, Swimwear, Limo Hire, Mortgage Advisers UK, and more - all are on the first page of Google and all highly competitive keyphrases. We put them there.

Our own group website is in the first page of Google for Website Marketing Company and Internet marketing companies. You will see our site listed as The Web Clinic. To satisfy you even further we can also provide you with comparative existing client’s contact details to serve as references for the quality of our work.

If you are genuinely serious about improving your online revenues and want professional website marketing for a low flat monthly fee or a one-off detailed report, please visit our service website at which provides more details about our excellent service and a call back form. See a selection of our excellent testimonials and example results achieved recently on behalf of our clients.

Alternatively, if you prefer to discuss your requirements over the phone, then please don't hesitate to contact me on 0844 7404951 and press Option 1

or simply reply to this mail with a convenient time to call you.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

Abigail Walker

Senior Search Consultant

Top 10 Guaranteed

0844 7404951

Providing SEO for clients since 1999

Note: This email is not spam, it was manually sent by us, our sole purpose being to introduce ourselves to you with no obligation on your part. Your email address was found to be publicly available and it has not been added to any list. We consider this to be a polite way to contact you and apologize sincerely if you have been inconvenienced in any way. We are obliged to offer you an 'OPT-OUT' from future mailings from us; should you wish to exercise this right, please reply with "OPT-OUT" in the subject field.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

A male waxing party

The other day a guy phoned up to ask if I could give him a back wax, how much it would hurt and how much it would cost etc. All the normal questions I get all the time.

So far, so good.

Then - and this is the bit which was unusual and took me aback - he confessed that actually he wanted the male waxing for a birthday present for a mate of his and wondered if he and a couple of mates could watch the whole process!

This was certainly a first for me, having thought about it for a short while, and warned him that it would be a bit of a tight squeeze in the beauty therapy room, I agreed.

When he turned up with 4 other lads (how did I guess it was going to be young lads?!) and asked to film the whole male waxing process - which ended up being chest waxing, as well as back waxing - I had to draw the line and refused.

Still, at least he got a memorable birthday present. And -given they split the cost between fourof them - a cheap one at that!